The Beloved and I are having all our faults magnified – and it’s killing us (in the best way possible).
Every moment that is not spent employed making the Star Child safe by building all three of us a Home is taken over by the Worm Baby. It dresses us up as it’s parents and sets us up to fight, lips curled and snarling, screaming at each other on the street, slamming doors, stabbing with hurtful accusations and poisoning with sly insinuations. This calms it down. It is the ONLY thing that calms it down once it gets scared. It’s easy to see why: Conflict and violence are the only life it’s ever known so at least it knows what is going on when we tear each other apart. It’s like a drug to it; our pain. Hours later, sometimes days later, it loosens its grip and we awake back into the memory of ourselves to find ourselves battered and exhausted but relieved to be free.
The Star Child then reappears and shows us the way forward again.
She explains why our every ugly impulse becomes so magnified in the presence of the Worm Baby. It’s soul is in torment because it was never held long enough in the womb to develop a story, a personality. We are it’s mother. We need to hold it safe and help it grow. Every one of our self-indulgent conceits is a moment of darkness that the Worm Baby cannot tolerate. It needs unconditional love. It needs us shine a Loving Light for it and to do that everything that doesn’t serve us – every mean spirited weakness – must die and be shed.
The Star Child forgives us our frailties – The Pervert and The Shrew – and invites us to ascend further.
Thus are we being purified.