When you are six, playing with caves and sandcastles may be the only things you can imagine sharing when you meet a new friend. When you are twenty-six, if all you think you have to offer are your secret caves and bouncy sandcastles – you need better friends. [rewrite required, this completely misrepresents what has been occurring … AND it’s puerile. Only one line worth reading in this post, the last.]
The Star Child isn’t offering me anything else. [Not true, see below.]
If I shut down her ‘sex-appeal’, I shut down her means of communication and make myself an ineffective prude. If I allow her to ‘communicate’, I have to face my perversions so that I’m sharing the risks that arise from intimacy. (I cannot invite another to open themselves without there being an equal demand placed upon myself). [garbled: say what you mean, mean what you say.] There is a narrow path in between prudery and perversion where Angels fear to tread. Am I Foolish (loving and open to new feelings and ideas) and skilled enough to proceed? The path is wider than it’s ever been and I have my own lamp now.
She KNOWS my limitations:
“Sometimes I feel there is a mismatch between what you receive in your ‘visions’ and the story you create with your mind. Your ‘visions’ have always appeared to be completely accurate, however the meanings you attached afterwards and the speculations, story you’ve created from your thoughts – not as much.”
My physics teacher banned erasers and finally insisted that we wrote in ink.
“Don’t cover up your work. I need to see your mistakes. Any dullard can copy the correct answer, I need to see how you approached the question. I need to see your reasoning. How you adapt formulae.”
Some call this transparency. Others call it due process. I need it to build trust.
I thank the Star Child for giving me permission to show you her words and my workings.