November 4, 2013
Sorry if I am curious, but you are in the public domain.
Who is Spirit Baby and why when she is a guest in Your house should she feel violated when being with you. She knows who is her host or were you supposed to go out when she is in?
The most interesting way to answer this question is by recommending a film I saw last night that comes close to reproducing the emotional forces at play inside the Spirit Baby. The film is called “What Maise Knew” 2012. It is non-confrontational and gentle in its delivery, but it’s intentions are very serious and sympathetic – like the Henry James novel of the same name it was based upon.
I’m not sure if film is a ‘language’ you respond to. Some people prefer images, others like words, but ultimately one needs to have a direct physical experience of Peace. I do not know what works for you. I am going to allude to genealogy because I know you have had a long and abiding interest in it.
The Spirit Baby is a young woman from * who is staying with us while she does her Masters in *. She experienced a painful and acrimonious divorce between her parents at a very young age. She was forced to take sides. She chose her father who had a warm and generous family home and now feels very guilty for abandoning her mother who was left both penniless and isolated. Both parents were, and continue to be, difficult people. She feels intense resentment and anger towards the both of them, but because all this painful ‘tearing apart’ happened when she was only four, she has learnt to sublimate her feelings. The film I have recommended for you does a very good job of showing how a child’s natural emotions can be distorted and pulled out of shape by the unpredictable violence of hurt adults.
Both her parents ‘inherited’ trauma from their respective parents. As far as we can tell, neither of them had a difficult childhood, yet their behaviour during the divorce indicates that were most probably brutalised by extreme psychological and emotional violence. It is possible, like many of our own cousins, that her parents were effected by events and circumstances that occurred a generation or two before.
We know this ‘inherited pain’ can impinge on a persons ability to receive nutrition and withstand stress – the scientific evidence is clear – that events experienced by ones grandparents can have a dramatic effect on ones genetic and neurological health.
The Spirit Baby hates herself for the impossible choices she has had to make. She hates her father with a murderous resentment for blackmailing her into betraying her mother. She hates her mother for being weak and pathetic in the face of her father’s power and charisma. Because these emotions are difficult for any child to contain without becoming very sick, she ‘decided’ that she LOVES her father – as a way of coping.
In our home, I am two people; her ‘father figure’ as well as her ‘magical friend’. The love she feels for me as a Healer is genuine – she is grateful that somebody is able to engage with her with a deep understanding and compassion for her situation. The love she expresses towards me as a ‘Father’, by contrast, barely camouflages her near-naked revulsion and contempt for what he did to her.
Because she trusts me – and the Beloved – she is able to explore these difficult emotions without getting hurt (or hurting us). Because we understand what is happening, we do not retaliate when she tries to attack us. Because we are strong enough to allow her this opportunity, she is able to see herself acting out of hatred and stop herself before she actually does or says anything to hurtful.
Every time she consciously changes her ‘instinctual’ reactions towards us – she gains more awareness, confidence and power.
This makes us feel good – that we are able to reduce her suffering. It makes our world a more interesting and rewarding place to be.
I hope this helps your understanding.